My drug store, CVS, occasionally sends me a flyer with coupons, but not just any coupons – they’re based on products I’ve bought in the past, and the flyer’s even personalized with my name. So thoughtful.
As I perused the latest flyer I found…good, $3 off on those things I like…great, $4 off on that stuff …and oh, here’s $3 off on…
Butt Paste.
This gave me pause.
I had no recollection of buying Butt Paste before, had, in fact, never heard of the product. The picture on the coupon was too small to discern what the product actually was, and the text on the coupon gave no clue as to what I’d do with it.
So my mind wandered.
Butt Paste.
I use toothpaste to clean my teeth, so is Butt Paste…oh, surely not.
I use paste to stick one thing to another thing, so would I use this to stick my butt to something?
Or stick something to my butt?
A quick online query answered the what:
Butt Paste is diaper rash ointment.
Butt Paste is a diaper rash ointment with a website. I don’t have a website, but a product for diaper rash does, which says something. I haven’t the slightest idea what.
Not only a website, but icons that invite you to visit Instagram, YouTube, Pinterest, 
Twitter and Facebook so you can read about/watch videos about/share thoughts about…
A diaper rash product.
But not just any diaper rash product. To be specific, this is Boudreaux’s Butt Paste, motto: Let’s Kick Some Rash.
Pictures of doting young mothers with cherubic babies offer captions including,
- “Kicking diaper rash one day at a time.” Mama Dani.
- “I swear by Butt Paste. Talk about game changing.” Mama Jess.
- “Keeping them smiling since day one.” Mama Angelica.
There’s a diaper Rash-O-Meter where you’re invited to choose the severity of the rash: Mild, Moderate or Severe. A simple click and up pop pictures of the best Butt Paste for your situation: Original, Natural, or Maximum Strength.
There’s also an illustration of a cherubic butt inflamed with diaper rash in the shape of a starfish. A very red, very angry starfish.
Scroll just a bit further and you’ll see a photo of three babies, back view, from the waist down, perfect little butts free of those nasty starfish.
Which is all very interesting. Well, not really, since I’ve never bought any diaper rash product and have no expectation of every buying a diaper rash product.
I have no idea why the drugstore sent this coupon to me.
I don’t mean to act rashly (get it?) and make light of what I’m sure is a very serious situation.
Well, yes I do.
Or maybe not the rash situation, but the name: Butt Paste.
But (get it?) wait, there’s more. According to Wikipedia (motto: Everything you need to know, true and otherwise), Butt Paste was invented by a pharmacist named George Boudreaux in the 1970s, who named it “after a physician told him a story about a patient who had referred to the product as such.” Boudreaux wisely included his last name to avoid confusion with any other…butt products.
And there are other “Butt” products out there, including the Butt Enhancer Padded Panty; the Butthurt Care Package; and Bad Byron’s Butt Rub barbecue seasoning, “used by champion barbecuers everywhere,” but not, I hope on their butts.
From those modest beginnings the use of Boudreaux’s Butt Paste spread (get it?) and apparently is now also used for psoriasis, jock itch, shingles, cold sores, acne, and chapped lips. Alternate motto: Butt Paste, “It’s not just for diaper rash anymore.” Possible commercial:
| “Oh, Sally, my lips get so chapped. But yours don’t. What’s your secret?”
“Ashley, it’s no secret – what else would I use on my sexy, smooth, kissable lips but…Butt Paste!” |
 |
And more: In 2004 Butt Paste became a National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing (NASCAR) sponsor. Apparently the sponsorship was short-lived, but for a while, professional drivers Kim Crosby and Kevin Ray proudly drove race cars immortalized with, and wore clothes emblazoned with, the Butt Paste logo:
| Kim Crosby and her #24 Butt Paste Chevrolet |  |
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| Kevin Ray and his #90 Butt Paste Ford |  |
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According to the writer at jacobnovo.wordpress.com, “This sponsorship may go down as one of the most unusual in history, but in the end*, I’m sure neither party will ever regret being the ‘butt’ of a good joke.”
*Get it?
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