What If Fairy Tales Had Personal Ads?

fairy tales_02

Personal ads are placed for all sorts of persuasions, but so far I haven’t seen any for those beloved characters in the stories we grew up hearing as kids.  Maybe those folks need a little help, too?

See if you can figure out who’s running these ads.  Click here for ads answers if you’re stumped.

  1. Single guys seek single gals who like to whistle while they work. Must be OK with short men who are known for being grumpy, sleepy, happy and, well, dopey.  There are seven of us hoping seven of you will call 1-800-SNO-WHITE.frog-prince
  1. Wanted:  Woman who is into nature and wildlife, especially frogs, for possible romance.  Must enjoy kissing and be willing to do so on our first date.  I am a prince of a guy – or I hope I will be.
  1. Adult supervisor needed for barnyard to keep animals from picking on a duckling which is, frankly, ugly. The chickens won’t cut him any slack, and the other ducks are bullies.  We’re also seeking a new home for him, where he can be around other ugly birds like himself.

broken_egg_03

  1. Distinguished gentleman, somewhat shell-shocked, needs female companion who can do what all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t.  If you’re good with glue, I need you.  This is no yolk.  Call 1-800-GOOD-EGG.
  1. Young woman seeks older lady who is willing to provide transportation, driver, and clothes so I can to go a ball.  I’m really into shoes, particularly glass ones, size four.  Am also in need of a prince to rescue me from my dysfunctional family.  When you get here, I’ll be the one by the fireplace.

emperor

  1. Need tailors who will work in-house, making new clothes that will be invisible to anyone who is incompetent or stupid. Must be willing to work long hours and will be subject to inspections by court officials.  Emperor will wear new clothes in a parade for townspeople and their children.
  1. Wanted:  Etiquette teacher for young female who told me I have big ears, a big nose and a big mouth.  She also insists on wearing a lot of red, which isn’t her color at all.  She tends to wander in the woods and talk to strangers.  If you can help call 1-800-BIG-WOLF.

bear in chair_01

  1. New living situation needed immediately. My roommates want everything their way, but the porridge is too hot or too cold, the chairs are too hard or too soft, and don’t get me started on the beds.  The youngest one is a whiner and won’t share.  Please help – this has become unbearable.

Ad Answers

  1. Snow White (Seriously?  You had to look for this answer?)
  2. The Princess and the Frog
  3. The Ugly Duckling
  4. Humpty Dumpty
  5. Cinderella
  6. The Emperor’s New Clothes
  7. Little Red Riding Hood
  8. Goldilocks and the Three Bears

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