This Ain’t Your Momma’s Broom

Have you ever watched the sport of curling?

Correction:  Have you ever watched the sport of curling and stayed awake?

Now, while I’m far from a sports know-it-all – or even a neophyte – I have seen a bit of curling and here’s what it looks like to me:

Seriously, badly dressed adults badly dressed_01.jpg
Walking, squatting and assuming other uncomfortable postures on ice uncomfortable.jpg
And making faces making faces_01
While pushing big rocks around with – what else – brooms. brooms

Eventually someone wins, but I have no idea how.

I just learned that not only is curling an Olympic sport – but at the 2018 Winter Olympics, for the first time ever:

breaking news.jpg

MIXED DOUBLES CURLING!

TEAM USA QUALIFIES!

Wow!  Is that like mixed doubles tennis?

Yes, exactly!  Except it’s on ice, the participants are badly dressed, they squat a lot, and instead of gracefully volleying tennis balls, they’re shoving around a 40-pound rock and cleaning house at the same time.

I decided to learn more and it turns out that was easy – reams have been written about curling (ZZZzzz).  Websites are devoted to the sport, for the World Curling Federation, the United States Curling Association, the Curling National Championships, and about a gazillion curling clubs (ZZZZZzzzzz).

curling scotland 1860 mixed doubles
Curling, mixed doubles, Scotland (above) and USA (below).

And there’s a long history here –  there’s evidence that “curling existed in Scotland in the early 16th century, including a curling stone inscribed with the date 1511 uncovered (along with another bearing the date 1551) when an old pond was drained at Dunblane, Scotland.”

I guess no one told those badly dressed, squatting Scots that the game loses some of its appeal when the pond melts.World Mixed Doubles Curling Championship 2017, Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada

Curling includes a mixed bag of terms such as sheet, the ice on which the game is played; stone, a clever nickname for that rock; and the broom thing is called a brush, “a device used by players to sweep/clean the ice in front of a moving stone.”

Like I said, housekeeping.

The male/female curling teams will make their debut this winter in PyeongChang, Southkorea_01 Korea, a destination that makes the event sound even more attractive.

Image: Kim Jong UnHello, does the name Kim Jong Un ring any bells?  South Korea is, like, sorta close to North Korea?

Ah, well.  A mere bagatelle.

Olympic advertisers will spend tons of money like they always do, the ratings will stink, like they always do, and a month later we’ll have forgotten who won, like we always do.

But at least we’ll have clean sheet.

making faces.jpg

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