Will They? Won’t They? And What Will They Say?

The media are buzzing with speculation about the proposed meeting between President Trump and North Korean leader Kim Jong-un.

Will they meet, or won’t they?  If so, when and where?  And what will they talk about?

I can’t answer any of these, but I can at least speculate on how their meeting will go…

Kim:

 

Translator:

Well, if it isn’t that old lunatic, mean trickster and human reject.

Mr. President, welcome to the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.

 

Trump:

Translator:

 

Hey, Little Rocket Man, how ya doin’?

Supreme Leader, I’m honored to be here.

Kim:

 

Translator:

 

You look worse in person than you do on TV.

 

We sincerely hope you are finding your accommodations comfortable.

 

 

Trump:

Translator (interrupts):

 

I saw some Korean chicks on the way here – not bad.  I’d grab them by the pu–

This is a beautiful country with beautiful people.

Kim:

Translator:

 

What is up with your hair?  Would you like the name of my hairdresser?

This is a historic day for all of us.

 

 

Trump:

 

Translator:

 

 

Do you shave your head or does a blind guy do it for you?

 

Historic, indeed, we will both live long as heroes in the history books.

 

Kim:

Translator (interrupts):

 

My button is bigger than your button, and so it my pe–

We have many serious and far-reaching issues to discuss.

 

 

Trump:

Translator:

 

 

My biggest button is so ready for that fire and fury like the world has never seen!

What we do here today will affect every person on our planet.

 

Kim:

Translator:

 

All of the mainland U.S. is within the range of our nuclear strike.  Today the U.S., tomorrow the world!

The world is watching and will remember what we do here today.

 

 

Trump:

 

Translator:

 

I’m going to get China to make you disappear in one form or another very quickly.

The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea and the United States will show the world the way!

Kim:

 

Translator:

 

If you think I’m going to give up my nuclear capability, you are a mentally deranged dotard.

Once I am assured we’re friends, I will dismantle everything, forever.

 

 

Trump:

Translator:

 

This is gonna be great, it’s gonna be fantastic, we’re gonna totally destroy you.

And we will live in harmony for all time.

 

(Trump and Kim leave the room.)

 

Translator:

Translator:

 

Rex Tillerson이 그리워.

 Yeah, wish he was here.

 

trump.kim_ smiling

 

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