If you look up “square” in the dictionary, there’s my picture.
I am so square.
But I figure I’m doing a public service. If the world didn’t have squares like me, how would you hip people know you’re actually…hip?
My anthem is “It’s Hip To Be Square” by Huey Lewis and the News.
If you remember that song, then you’re old enough to read this.
Because what follows has so much profanity, this blog is rated “X.”
It appears profanity is necessary if I’m going to talk about Veep.
Square as I am, I’d heard of Veep: The basic storyline, it’s been around for awhile, it’s on HBO.
But not much else until Time magazine’s March 11 issue, with Veep’s star, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, on the cover.
I read the article and it was interesting. She was interesting. It sounded like a fun show, and funny – and who doesn’t need funny?
So I thought I’d find out a bit more about Veep, and what I’ve been missing.
I headed for YouTube and searched for Veep. First option: A Collection of Veep Insults, Vol. 1.
Insults! I love insults, provided they’re not directed at me.
And I immediately learned that the Veep characters – and the show’s writers – are masters at delivering insults.
They’re also masters at using profanities in just about every way imaginable.
The video was four minutes and 21 seconds long, and here’s what I heard in various clips in just the first 60 seconds:
- “Jesus Fucking Christ!”
- Four “fucking” in one sentence. (Used as an adjective.)
- “Pack an espresso machine in your big fucking bitch bag.”
- “Get this freak the fuck away from me.”
- “Dan is a shit.”
- “Your dick is hanging out of your pants.” (This from the star, Julia Louis-Dreyfus.)
- “Dick wad (inaudible).”
Clearly, no BLEEP! in Veep.
Or maybe the clips were “taken out of context.” Isn’t that the excuse politicians use? 
How many times have you heard a politician say,
“That statement was taken out of context to intentionally misrepresent my meaning and intent.”
When what the politician means is:
“Uh-oh! I didn’t know my microphone was on!”
So maybe Veep wasn’t my kind of show – square, remember?
But I wasn’t ready to give up just yet. My online reading revealed Veep’s impressive list of honors: Primetime Emmy Awards for Outstanding Comedy Series, Writers Guild of America and Television Critics Association Awards.
And Louis-Dreyfus has gotten Primetime Emmy Awards, Screen Actors Guild (SAG) 
Awards, Golden Globe nominations – the lists of Veep’s awards and nominations were a testament to the actors, writers, and entire team.
“There must be something there,” I thought. “Something really special that I’m just not getting.”
So I moved on to a second video, Funny Moments, Veep, Season 6.
And in the first clip – the first eight seconds – our Emmy-and-SAG-and-whatever-else star Louis-Dreyfus says,
“That just tickles my twat!”
And that just turned me off.
I don’t object to profanity – it can be funny. If used sparingly, profanity can startle, even shock, and make a point while it makes you laugh.
But an excessive use of profanity shows a lack of imagination. It gets boring after awhile. Then it doesn’t startle, or shock, or make a point or make you laugh.
It simply becomes repetitious.
Regarding one of those profanities, in a 2016 Hollywood Reporter article, Veep showrunner David Mandel claimed that:
“Every f-word is written with purpose. We kind of get to a point where we say, 
‘OK, that’s a great joke, that stays.’
“But then we’ll notice, ‘When he bumped into that thing, he said f—, can we get that f— out?’ Because that was simply a f— and not a f— that’s doing much.
“If you can clear out three or four of the f—s, it allows the f—s that are more intricately worded, the good f—s, to really shine.”
Really?
Somehow, “intricately worded” is not an idea I’m associating with the word “fuck.”
Veep has just begun its seventh and final season, so I guess the team will be packing up their profanities – “intricately worded” and otherwise – and moving on to another show. If they stay true to form, that next show will probably be an award winner, too.
As for me? I’ll continue not watching Veep.
And I’ll continue saying…
I Hate Houseguests 