Hi, Everybody! I’m Ivanka Wanka, The Wind-Up Doll!

Just wind me up and I’ll say anything Daddy wants me to!

Like…

·         “My Daddy values talent!  He is colorblind and gender neutral!  He taught me the importance of a strong ethical compass!”

·         “My Daddy said if I wasn’t his daughter, perhaps he’d be dating me!”

·         “My Daddy is everyone’s favorite president!”

Here I am saying, um…something, in front of that painting of What’s-His-Name, everyone’s second favorite president!

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Here I am when I was younger, with Daddy.  Daddy is a very affectionate man! Image 2 (2)
Here I am more recently with Daddy.  Daddy is a very affectionate man! Image 3 (2)
Before I became a White House Senior Advisor, I was hard at work, helping to build Trump Tower in New York.

Or is this Trump Tower Moscow?

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I’m sure you’ve noticed that sometimes Ivanka Wanka The Wind-Up Doll’s wind-up key is silver and sometimes it’s gold! Image 4 (2)
That’s because I know how to dress for success, just like I talked about in my book, The Trump Card.  Here I am, signing a copy of my book for some lucky fan!

So, what do you think – should I have worn the silver key with this?

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And speaking of lucky, I just got back from a trip to Africa, and weren’t those folks lucky to meet me!

Here I am arriving the airport in Africa.  Did you notice that Ivanka Wanka’s wind-up key is smaller?  That’s because it’s…travel size!  Get it?

And look at me, managing my own luggage – how proletarian of me!

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First I met with…um…somebody for an interview!  I told her I was visiting Ethiopia and the West Coast…um…I mean Gold Coast, to promote…um…some sort of White House global economic program for women! Image 7 (2)
When I met up with these gals, they began singing and dancing!  Well, what else could Ivanka Wanka The Wind-Up Doll do but join in?  And I’m telling you:  It was my privilege!

If only I still had my Ivanka clothing line, just think how these gals could have improved their economic status by working in the sweatshops!

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Whew!  All this traveling and dancing and stuff is making Ivanka Wanka tired!  I need my key cranked! Imagea 8A (2).jpg
Here I am on my way to meet Ethiopia’s first female president!  Imagine – a female president in this shithole country?

Hmmmm.  Female president…I’ll have to ask Daddy about that!  “Ivanka Wanka in 2024!” sounds good to me!

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I’m home again, home again, and what a relief to get back to my regular-size key!

I suppose we’ll still be hearing about that Mueller thing.  Of course, I knew that there was no collusion.  I knew that there was no obstruction, and this was affirmed in the Mueller report and Attorney General Barr’s subsequent summary.

Pssst!  Daddy?  How’d I do?

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And speaking of Daddy, and my Africa trip – I’ve been deeply, deeply inspired by my trip.  And I think he will be as well.

You can see how much Daddy missed his Ivanka Wanka The Wind-Up Doll!

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And home to the hubby – that’s What’s-His-Name in the red tie, walking three steps behind me, just where he belongs!

So, what do you think – should I have worn the gold key with this?

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This is Ivanka Wanka The Wind-Up Doll saying “Kiss, Kiss!” and “Bye-Bye!”

Seriously, do you like my hair better up – or down?

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