Just wind me up and I’ll say anything Daddy wants me to!
Like…
| · “My Daddy values talent! He is colorblind and gender neutral! He taught me the importance of a strong ethical compass!”
· “My Daddy said if I wasn’t his daughter, perhaps he’d be dating me!” · “My Daddy is everyone’s favorite president!” Here I am saying, um…something, in front of that painting of What’s-His-Name, everyone’s second favorite president! |
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| Here I am when I was younger, with Daddy. Daddy is a very affectionate man! |  |
| Here I am more recently with Daddy. Daddy is a very affectionate man! |  |
| Before I became a White House Senior Advisor, I was hard at work, helping to build Trump Tower in New York.
Or is this Trump Tower Moscow? |
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| I’m sure you’ve noticed that sometimes Ivanka Wanka The Wind-Up Doll’s wind-up key is silver and sometimes it’s gold! |  |
| That’s because I know how to dress for success, just like I talked about in my book, The Trump Card. Here I am, signing a copy of my book for some lucky fan!
So, what do you think – should I have worn the silver key with this? |
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| And speaking of lucky, I just got back from a trip to Africa, and weren’t those folks lucky to meet me!
Here I am arriving the airport in Africa. Did you notice that Ivanka Wanka’s wind-up key is smaller? That’s because it’s…travel size! Get it? And look at me, managing my own luggage – how proletarian of me! |
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| First I met with…um…somebody for an interview! I told her I was visiting Ethiopia and the West Coast…um…I mean Gold Coast, to promote…um…some sort of White House global economic program for women! |  |
| When I met up with these gals, they began singing and dancing! Well, what else could Ivanka Wanka The Wind-Up Doll do but join in? And I’m telling you: It was my privilege!
If only I still had my Ivanka clothing line, just think how these gals could have improved their economic status by working in the sweatshops! |
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| Whew! All this traveling and dancing and stuff is making Ivanka Wanka tired! I need my key cranked! |  |
| Here I am on my way to meet Ethiopia’s first female president! Imagine – a female president in this shithole country?
Hmmmm. Female president…I’ll have to ask Daddy about that! “Ivanka Wanka in 2024!” sounds good to me! |
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| I’m home again, home again, and what a relief to get back to my regular-size key!
I suppose we’ll still be hearing about that Mueller thing. Of course, I knew that there was no collusion. I knew that there was no obstruction, and this was affirmed in the Mueller report and Attorney General Barr’s subsequent summary. Pssst! Daddy? How’d I do? |
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| And speaking of Daddy, and my Africa trip – I’ve been deeply, deeply inspired by my trip. And I think he will be as well.
You can see how much Daddy missed his Ivanka Wanka The Wind-Up Doll! |
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| And home to the hubby – that’s What’s-His-Name in the red tie, walking three steps behind me, just where he belongs!
So, what do you think – should I have worn the gold key with this? |
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| This is Ivanka Wanka The Wind-Up Doll saying “Kiss, Kiss!” and “Bye-Bye!”
Seriously, do you like my hair better up – or down? |
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I Hate Houseguests 