Airline Announces New Charge For Ticket Changes

“Good afternoon, SoLow Airlines, how may I help you?”

“I need to change my flight from San Diego to New York.  My trip is departing on Sunday and I have to change that to a Tuesday departure.”

“I’m happy to help you with that, sir.”

(SoLow customer service person gets his name and flight number, and then…)

“All right, I do see you scheduled for a Sunday departure, let me check the Tuesday flight, woman_02 largerSan Diego to New York, for you.  Did you want the same departure time?”

“Yes, please”

“One moment.”

(Pause)

“I can schedule you for that Tuesday flight, departing San Diego at 10am.”

“That’s great!  Let’s go ahead and do that.”

“Before we do, sir, I’m required by SoLow Airlines to advise there is a $550 charge to change your flight.”

“What?  Did you say $550?”

“Yes, sir.”

(Pause)man cropped

“That seems like a lot of money for a simple flight change – $550?”

“Yes, sir.  And one kidney.”

(Long pause)

“I must have misunderstood you.  Kidney?  Did you say a kidney?”

“Yes, sir.  If you wish to make that flight change the charge will be $550 and one kidney.”

(Long pause)

“I can’t believe I’m hearing this.  You’re telling me that if I fly on Tuesday instead of Sunday, you’re asking me for a kidney?”

“And $550, sir.”

“That’s outrageous!”

“Sir, your flight change involves that Monday holiday, which impacts the cost of your flight change.”

“I’m not talking about the money, I’m talking about the kidney!”woman_01

“And I should advise, sir, that SoLow requires your kidney 24 hours prior to your Tuesday departure.  Shall I go ahead and book that flight, so you can start making arrangements?”

“What in the hell – Look, this is ridiculous.  You and I both know that selling human organs is illegal.”

“On the contrary, sir, selling a kidney is perfectly legal in Iran.  The average person in Iran can sell a kidney for $4,600, all government sanctioned.”

“Wh – what kind of crap is that?”

“It’s true, sir.  I can send you links to several articles, including one by the Associated Press, if you’d like verification?”

Headline (2)

“You’re telling me that you’d take my kidney and sell it to the Iranian government?”

“SoLow Airlines doesn’t use the word ‘sell,’ sir.  We think of it as a donation, in return for a consideration.  Like all airlines, we’re constantly developing new revenue streams.”

(Long pause)

“Look.  I must change my flight.  I…I…  Oh, God.  All right.  I’ll do it.”

“Very good, sir.  Now – did you want to change your return flight as well?”

“Of course I have to change my return flight!  Instead of leaving New York on Wednesday, I need to return to San Diego on Friday.”man cropped reversed

“I’m checking that return flight on Friday…yes, I can schedule you for that change, a Friday flight, New York to San Diego.”

“All right.  Do that.”

“Again, sir, I’m required by SoLow Airlines to advise there is a $550 charge to change your flight.”

“You already told me that.”

“No, sir.  That was for your San Diego to New York flight.  There will also be a $550 charge to change your return flight.”

“Another $550?  But there’s no holiday involved, and – ”

“Yes, sir.  And a kidney.”

“What?  WHAT?”woman_02 larger

(Long pause)

“You’re telling me you want both of my kidneys to change both of my flights?”

(Long pause)

“And as advised earlier, SoLow also requires that kidney 24 hours prior to your New York to San Diego flight.”

(Long pause)

“This is insane.  But…I suppose I should be grateful this won’t cost me an arm and a leg.”

“No, sir.  SoLow only charges that for international flights.”

arm_02 cropped fixed larger

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