What I Feel About Bugs Is What Indiana Jones Felt About Snakes:

I hate bugs.

When a bug comes into my home, I kill it.

I didn’t invite that bug, it’s unwelcome, and it’s dead.

As long as the bugs stay outside, I leave them alone.

But a bug in my house in a dead bug walking.

Or flying.

Or crawling.

So you can imagine my revulsion when I saw this headline:

With this photo:

Eat bugs?

The article assures us that,

“Around the world, two billion people in 130 countries eat insects regularly.”

So what?

If those same two billion people decided to jump off a cliff, does that mean that I should, too?

No.

I hate bugs.

I will not eat bugs.

I don’t care how many pictures and how many examples they give me about yum-yum items made with bugs.

Like this:

This is Tiziana Di Constanzo, and she puts cricket powder in her pizza crust.

She also holds cricket and mealworm cooking classes in her London home.

She and her husband, the above-pictured Tom Mohan, have a startup company, Horizon Insects, which is looking to join, says the article, “Europe’s nascent edible insect scene,” which already offers lots of bugs-included stuff like chips made from crickets:

Beer “flavored with protein from insects”:

And pasta with “mealworms as one of the main ingredients”:

By now you may be wondering – as am I – why I’m spending so much time looking at this dreadful stuff.

This was an effort to reassure myself that this bug-eating madness is confined to other countries, not to my country.

Alas – I am not reassured.

My research revealed A Guide to Buying Edible Insects updated just last month:

The article begins,

“Welcome to the exciting world of entomophagy!” 

Entomophagy means “the practice of eating insects, especially by people.”

There’s even a word for this.

Ugh.

The article continues,

“Below you will find a list of North American companies producing edible insects in various forms…”

Oh, no.

Bug-eating has already infested my country.

The site lists U.S.-based companies offering insect-based ready-to-eat food, protein powders and bars, edible insect flours, and “Just Plain Edible Insects,” like these:

There are, apparently, a whole lot of people out there making edible bug products and eating edible bug products.

But…

Not me.

No, nope, never will I eat bugs.

Except…

Have I been – unknowingly – already eating bugs?

Going back to the Associated Press article,

“…humans may end up eating more insects indirectly because the market that shows the most promise is for feeding animals…The U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved it for chicken feed in 2018…”

Oh, no…Caterpillar crud in my chicken today…tarantula in my steak tartare tomorrow…

You think I’m kidding?  Check out this article, which includes an image of Tarantula Tempura, as featured on the Smithsonian Channel in 2018:

OK:  But even without insects added to the food fed to animals raised for human consumption, my research has made me aware that I’ve been consuming insects – indirectly – all my life.  According to TechnologyNetworks.com:

“Insects are naturally eaten by cattle, pigs, poultry and fish as part of their species-appropriate diet.”

Chickens happily feast on ticks, grasshoppers, pillbugs, spiders, termites and flies.

Animals were already eating insects; I eat meat and fish; therefore, I eat insects.

And since it’s unlikely I’m going to go vegan, it appears that I will continue – indirectly – to eat insects.

So I guess I’d better put on my Big Girl Pants…

And deal with it.

Care to join me for lunch?

The giant weta is among the largest and heaviest insects in the world. With a side salad, serves four.

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