When It Comes To Commercials, It Seems Like…

If you’re a fan of old movie musicals, you may have seen one pictured above.

The music and lyrics were written by the brilliant Cole Porter, including the title song which contains these lyrics:

In olden days, a glimpse of stocking
Was looked on as something shocking.
But now, God knows,
Anything goes.

Those “anything goes” lyrics popped into my head after I recently saw a 15-second commercial for a Gillette grooming product:

I also thought back to a blog post I did about a month ago, where I suggested that perhaps there are some human activities that should not be shared.

That was after I’d seen a 60-second commercial for a probiotic, in which the word “poop” or some variation of it was used about every three seconds.

Now, after the Gillette commercial, I’m thinking that perhaps there are some human features that should not be shared.

The Gillette commercial didn’t talk about poop, but instead about…

Pubic hair:

Specifically, “New Venus Pubic Hair and Skin.”

“To prep, protect and maintain.”

“The new way to care…for down there.”

You know.

Down there.

Those “tricky areas”:

Did a revolution happen when I wasn’t paying attention?

A revolution that proclaimed, “Everything’s on the table!  Every body part, every body function and misfunction, it’s all fair game when it comes to advertising!”

It’s not so much that I’m shocked, it’s more of a…

Isn’t anything private anymore?

I guess not.  I guess…

But – perhaps that 15-second commercial was a one-off?  A Gillette experiment?  A “we-tried-this-and-it-wasn’t-effective-so-we’re-done” thing?

Alas, no.  Gillette didn’t stop with that brief commercial.

I found this Gillette two-minute-and-six-second tutorial online:

Featuring this perky spokesperson:

Who begins by advising us that…

“There is finally a line of products designed to work with and not against your pubic hair and skin.”

I was not aware that there were products designed to work against pubic hair and skin.

But now there is a Gillette pro-pubic line of products, and what a line it is.  Just watching this video exhausted me.  Who do they think is going to use all this stuff?

Or pay for all this stuff?

According to Ms. Perky, we start with Product 1, Skin Smoothing Exfoliant:

We’re advised that this product “Can be used on or in between hair removal days to smooth your skin and help protect against nicks and cuts.”

Note to self:  Mark “hair removal days” on calendar.

Then, says Ms. Perky, comes Product 2:  2-in-1 Cleanser + Shave Gel:

The “clear gel formula,” we’re assured, “lets you see what you’re doing while shaving delicate areas.”

Note to self:  You’re supposed to watch while you’re doing this.

Product 3 is tool time:  the Venus for Pubic Hair & Skin Razor:

This is not your everyday razor – it’s “designed for tricky areas…to help reach tricky areas.”

Note to self:  Got it.  “Tricky areas.”

And finally, Product 4:  Daily Soothing Serum

Use this “after you shave” and “between shaves.”

Note to self:  Not to be confused with Product #1, Skin Smoothing Exfoliant, which “can be used on or in between hair removal days.”

But I am confused about Products #1 and #4!

No worries – Gillette has thoughtfully provided French translations on the labels to assist us:

Product #1:  Lisse le peau Exfoliant
Product #2:  Nettoyant + gel à raser 2 en 1
Product #3:  Pour le peau et les polis pubiens
Product #4:  Sérum apalsant quotidien

Ah, merciJe suis vraiment reconnaissant.

Now there’s no way I’ll mix up Lisse le peau Exfoliant with Sérum apalsant quotidien.

And there’s another reason for that classy French labeling – it now makes sense that these four products are going to set you back…

Our Gillette tutorial includes up-close-and-personal demonstrations:

With this heads-up at the bottom of the screen in small print:

“Recommended to use product in shower on wet skin.  This demonstration modified for filming purposes.”

Note to self:  Not to be used while operating heavy machinery.

The tutorial ends with Ms. Perky marveling,

“Wow…Fancy skin care…for my pubic hair?”

So the tutorial ends – but Gillette wasn’t finished.  They had a commercial and a tutorial – why not a catchy song, as well?

According to this article:

“Gillette wrote a jingle.  Featuring a singing hair.  In the animated video The Pube Song, the hair bemoans its lowly, unspoken status ‘just hoping to be recognized and treated like every other hair on your body, with care and confidence!’”

Here’s the premise:

Here’s the video name:

Here’s the singing hair:

Here’s the singing hair with singing hair friends:

I’m sure Gillette created The Pube Song and video for purely altruistic reasons, and not to sell product.  Why am I sure?  Because when they announced the new product line, Gillette said:

“Women want to reclaim the narrative around the language and description of their bodies.”

“Our new collection not only offers women more options for pubic grooming than we ever have before – but starts a new conversation about using language that accurately and respectfully represents the female body.”

Thank you, Gillette, for recognizing that women have been on fire for a “new conversation” that includes…

Singing pubic hair.

What’s it all mean?

In the past 30 days I – and you – have been bombarded with commercials that liberally use the words “poop” and “pubic hair,” and variations thereof.

Women sitting on toilets, women shaving those “tricky areas.”

My takeaway?  I guess…

But – I am wondering if men are feeling left out of all this…fun? 

Are men maybe wanting to have that “new conversation”?

If so, I can suggest a male body feature that Gillette and other advertisers might want to address.

How about…

And in the meantime…

Which body feature or function will we be subjected to next?

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