The Jeff Sessions Marijuana Pop Pot Quiz

TO:  Mr. Jeff Sessions, United States Attorney General

RE:  Marijuana

Dear Attorney General Sessions:

You’re all about marijuana being an illegal “controlled substance,” but how much do you actually know about it?

For instance, can you pronounce, let alone spell, the psychoactive component of marijuana?

It’s tetrahydrocannabinol.

You and other marijuana-challenged folks can just call it “THC.”

So Mr. Sessions, in the interest of helping you become better informed, here’s a Pot Quiz.  No cheating and skipping to the end for the answers!

1. Which of the following is not a marijuana nickname:

a) Muggle.
b) Maui Wowie.
c) Broccoli.

2. In your very own place of business – Washington, DC – marijuana is:

a) Legal for medical purposes.
b) Legal for recreational purposes.
c) All of the above.
d) None of the above.

3. At your confirmation hearing in 2017, when you were asked about marijuana,you said, “I won’t commit to never enforcing federal law.”  With that in mind, is the following statement true or false:  Jeff Sessions understands the double-negative rule of English grammar.

a) True.
b) False.

4. Medical marijuana is legal in a majority of states in the U.S.

a) True.
b) False.

5. Recreational marijuana is legal in nine states. Three of them are:

a) Florida, California, Nevada.
b) Vermont, Maine, Oregon.
c) Colorado, Wyoming, Alaska.

6. Which of the following can be legally traded on the U.S. Stock Exchange:

a) U.S. marijuana company stock.
b) Canadian marijuana company stock.
c) All of the above.
d) None of the above.

7. Even though you consider marijuana illegal, you’re considering investing in publicly traded marijuana stock because:

a)  The U.S. Marijuana Index, compiled by Marijuana International Corporation, has delivered 158% returns over the past one year, as of October 17, 2018.  The S&P 500 has over the past year generated only 9.78% returns.
b) You’ll be out of a job soon, and money is money.
c) You won’t inhale.
d) All of the above.

8. What’s the difference between politicians and stoners?

a) Politicians don’t inhale…they just suck.
b) All of the above.

And finally…

9. What moron said, “Good people don’t smoke marijuana”?

a) Jeff Sessions.
b) Jeff Sessions.

Answers:

1.   Fooled you! They’re all nicknames for weed.  I mean, marijuana.
2.   c) All of the above.  Medical marijuana has been legal in Washington DC for almost 20 years, and in November 2014, voters in DC legalized recreational marijuana for adults 21 and older.
3.   b) False.
4.   a) True.  Medical marijuana is legal in 30 states, plus Washington DC.
5.   b) Vermont, Maine, Oregon.  The nine states where recreational marijuana is legal are Alaska, Washington, Oregon, Nevada, California, Colorado, Maine, Vermont, Massachusetts, plus Washington, DC.
6.   b) Canadian marijuana company stock.
7.   d) All of the above.
8.   a), b)
9.   a), b), and below.