And now it’s time to mock yet another ridiculous article about how to make your working life something other than boring, tedious and degrading.
This time the article offers advice on “How to ease into your work routine” after you return from vacation.
The author, John “Johnny Jet” DiScala (left), has a modest 1100+ word bio on his website where he overshares about guess what – himself. His birthplace, his asthma, and his college girlfriend, but nowhere in his bio could I find any mention of what he does for a living, though he’s “traveled more than 100,000 miles a year since…1995.”
I’m figuring he’s not a minimum wage employee at a fast food restaurant.
Perhaps overexposure to high altitudes have kept Johnny Jet from picking up on this reality:
Most working people who go on vacation are, in reality, on workation, meaning that throughout the time they’re away, they’re in contact with co-workers, managers or both; they’re responding to work-related emails and texts; and even attending meetings via Skype and other technology.
So to bring Johnny Jet back home from Fantasy Island and assist with his future advice articles, here are the realities vs. his fantasies:
|Johnny Jet’s Advice||Reality||Reality|
|“Don’t go back to work right after your vacation is over.”||You never really left work, so going back will be no big adjustment.|
|“Take a day or two to relax and recuperate before heading back into the office.”||You can’t. You used up your measly vacation time on your workation.|
|“On your first morning back, take some time to plan out your day.”||You’d better have your day planned before you arrive, and hit the ground running when you do.|
|“Be sure to give yourself alone time.”||A bit challenging, since you’re in a room with 47 other cubes, all occupied.|
|“Take a short break every three hours to breathe deeply and get back into the groove.”||The last time you took a break, HR had a little sit-down with you.|
|“Interact with others at the office…Your co-workers will want to know about your trip.”||No, no, no, no, no, no. Do not even think about whipping out your phone and sharing 98 photos of you parasailing above a Caribbean beach. Even if that was the one time you weren’t connected to the office.|
|“Conversations about your vacation will help you form bonds with your co-workers.”||No, no, no, no, no, no. Conversations about your vacation are boring. No one wants to hear about it, and haven’t you got work to catch up on?|
So, John “Johnny Jet” DiScala, you keep sharing all that great advice and we’ll keep it in mind.
If we ever take a vacation.