Ode To My Kitchen: The Most Unused Room In My Home

Or, why you do NOT want to come to my house for Christmas dinner…

I am no cook
But I like to look
At food magazines and such.
The pictures are neat
And I love to eat
But to cook – well, not so much.
I won’t win a prize
For my apple pies
Of baking I’ve nothing to boast.
My cakes turn out flat
And much worse than that
Hell, I struggle just making toast.
 burning toast_01
I once had a wish
To fry up some fish
Which into the trash I did dump.
The people I feed
Oh, where does it lead?
To a date with a stomach pump.
 scraping garbage into wastebasket.png
I’m giving up hope
My cooking’s a joke
No matter how hard I strive.
I promise I’ll stay
From the kitchen – away
So my family and friends survive.

merry-christmas-the end cropped

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