I have never taken a selfie, or been in a selfie with others.
I have, therefore, never posted my image on social media with a clever caption such as, “I’m eating tomato soup for lunch right now!!!”
You’re probably thinking, “Well, then what do you do all day, if you’re not taking/posting selfies and talking endlessly about yourself?”
Well, gosh. Work? Eat? Sleep? Face time with significant other and friends? Read? Pay bills? Clean the bathroom?
However, I may have to rethink all that and switch to major narcissistic mode because of this important announcement:
The Museum of Selfies, or TMoS for those in the know, originally opened as a pop-up, but apparently was so popular that it’s now found a permanent home on Hollywood Boulevard in Los Angeles.
TMoS promises to:
“Share the unseen depths and history of this cultural phenomenon, with roots going back 40,000 years!”
I’m going to hazard a guess that they’re referring to cave paintings, some of which are, indeed, estimated at 40,000 years old. And what treasures explorers have found – like these gorgeous horses from Chauvet cave in France.
However, depictions of humans didn’t come along until centuries later, like when this bunch of guys in what’s now Argentina decided to portray themselves giving each other high-fives.
And while the guys might have gotten a bit carried away, you’ll notice there are no faces in this painting, and faces are the point of selfies, aren’t they?
Sure, people do take photos of other body parts, but no matter how…um…stunning those parts may be, they remain anonymous without a face to go with them.
Without my face it isn’t me.
If it isn’t me, it isn’t a selfie.
The museum website lets us know all the exciting things we can do at TMoS including:
“You can take really cool photos in our interactive exhibits that explore the various types of selfies and what they mean.”
I suppose by “interactive exhibits” they mean something like this?
Note the genuine imitation statues of Michelangelo’s David, complete with pink phones and strategically placed pink fig leaves.
The website offers other well-known images, like this one:
News Flash: The phone was not included in the original 19th-century Vincent van Gogh self-portrait. And van Gogh painted selfies because he was too poor to pay a model. At least he had a good excuse.
But perhaps it is time to re-think my No Selfie Strategy.
I’ll grab a selfie stick – yes, they’re welcomed at TMoS! And pay the $25 entrance fee and…oh…did I forget to mention there’s a charge to do this?
And “take really cool photos” of myself. Then I’ll upload them to Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and Flickr and Pinterest, and wait for your wildly enthusiastic responses.
Here I am eating tomato soup while I’m waiting.
Whoops! Forgot to include my face!
|Selfie: A photograph that one has taken of oneself, typically one taken with a smartphone or webcam and shared via social media.||Museum: A building in which objects of historical, scientific, artistic, or cultural interest are stored and exhibited.||Selfie Museum: A building in which selfies but NO objects of historical, scientific, artistic or cultural interest are stored and exhibited.|