WASHINGTON – Trump has announced his plan to revamp the housing market and address the national housing crisis, the White House said.

“If people have trouble finding housing,” he said, “I have a lot of hotels all over the place and people use them because they’re the best and it’s like, you know, I told Pence he should stay at my resort in Ireland.

“People like my product, what can I tell you, can’t help it.

“The bathrooms at my hotels have these little soaps – they’re really nice soaps, best soaps in the world – and these people say they can’t find housing,  you know they also have trouble with personal hygiene, but they can use those nice soaps.

“Hey – if my place in Scotland is good enough for the Air Force, and my Doral resort is good enough for next year’s G7, although we should change that to G8 because I’m inviting Putin, did I tell you that?  Great guy, Putin.”

The Trump administration had no further details at this time.

“Give me your tired, your poor…”  Well, not TOO poor, right?  I charged the taxpayers – I mean, Pence – a thousand bucks a night!


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