Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Who’s The Most Vacuous* Of Them All?

*Vacuous:  having or showing a lack of thought or intelligence; mindless.

If you qualified for stimulus money and received a check, it would have looked something like this:

a stack of three example u s treasury checks for stimulus paymen

If you qualified for the full amount, it would have been $1,200.

If you qualified for a check and in the full amount, it would not have enabled you to buy this:

whitney_bag_max_mara cropped

This is a $1,540 Max Mara Whitney tote bag, which now has a place in history.

It went along on Trump’s walk of shame on Monday, June 1 when he walked to St. John’s Episcopal Church for a bible-in-hand photo op.

The bible had been carried to the photo op in the tote bag.Ivanka cropped

A tote bag belonging to none other than Daddy’s Little Girl, Ivanka (photo, left).

I can hear the conversation at the White House, just prior to the group heading out.  The mélange included Trump, Ivanka, Attorney General William Barr, Secretary of Defense Mark Esper, General Mark Milley, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, advisor Hope Hicks, Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany gaggle of Secret Service agents, and others.

Hicks:  Mr. President, are you ready for your photo op?

Trump:  Yeah.  Why am I doing this?

McEnany:  Hope, would you like to unpack this for us?

Hicks:  Certainly.  Sir, to show that you’re our law and order president, sir, and that God is on your side.

Trump:  Yeah.  You said something about a bible, or something?

Ivanka:  I’ve got it, Daddy!  I’ve got it right here, in my $1,540 Max Mara Whitney tote bag!  The classic lines and east-west design of the tote are perfect for these spring months, and for carrying all sorts of things.  Including my black Lele Sadoughi face mask adorned with copper stars…

Ivanka_02 cropped

Ivanka:  …that I wore this morning as I left the house, to show the masses that we care about them!

Trump:  That’s my little girl, always thinking about the masses!

Ivanka:  Oh, Daddy, you’re so sweet!

McEnany:  Oooh, I saw your face mask!  Your picture was on all the major media outlets!

Trump:  So, Ivanka’s gonna carry the bible and we’re gonna walk to the church and she’ll hand me the bible and…then what?  I give another speech about anarchists and…

Hicks:  No, sir, no speech at the church, sir.  You’ll just hold up the bible and look…stern.howard-stern-on-donald-trump

Trump:  Stern?  Howard Stern?  I can do him.  How’s this?  (Makes a face)

Hicks, aside to Ivanka and McEnany:  Girls, can you help me out here?

After a stop in the Rose Garden to make threats against law-abiding American citizens, Trump and his entourage walked to St. John’s Episcopal Church, including Ivanka, white tote bag firmly in hand, Lele Sadoughi face mask adorned with copper stars nowhere in sight:


At just the right moment she handed the bible to Trump, who posed for photographs.  Then he handed off the bible, presumably to Ivanka, who presumably returned it to her $1,540 Max Mara Whitney tote bag, and presumably, everybody went happily back to the White House.

Kayleigh McEnany would soon after compare Trump’s bible-in-hand photo op to images of Winston Churchill inspecting bombing damage during World War II and George W. Bush throwing out the first pitch after 9/11.

Hope Hicks, quoted by an anonymous source, said, “President Trump has a magnetic personality, and exudes positive energy, which is infectious to those around him.”

And from Ivanka:  “Did you see how the Daily Mail said, ‘Be beautiful like Ivanka and carry a Max Mara tote bag’”?

Now, don’t despair about not being “beautiful like Ivanka” and not buying a $1,540 history-making tote bag with your $1,200 relief check.

Max Mara has this lovely leather shopper bag, just marked down, that you can afford:


$1,660.00  $1,162.00

And you’ll have $38 left for your month’s rent.



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