A Prediction About A Presidential Library

When:  A day in the not-too-distant futureTrump photo cropped

Where:  Oval Office

Toady #1:  Mr. President, we have just one pressing matter to discuss this morning, sir.

Trump:  Speaking of pressing, did I impress everybody with my bean picture, or what?  And see those thumbs up?  That’ll get the damn Hispanic vote!

Toady #3:  Sir, about this pressing matter…

Trump:  Pressing?  Oh, you mean my press conference yesterday?  Was that not THE greatest press conference in the history of this country?

Toady #2:  Actually, Mr. President, it’s about –

Trump:  I didn’t answer one – not one – question from any of those fake news people.  Not one!  When that what’s-her-name reporter asked me about the Kung Flu death toll, and I said, “That’s a nasty question!”  I showed those rotten, lying –

trump arms crossedToady #3:  Mr. President, sir, this is a matter of some urgency.  Congress needs to approve the funding while you’re still in office.  Ah…that is to say…

Trump:  WHILE I’M WHAT?

Toady #1:  Sir, what he meant to say, sir, was that now, when your popularity is the highest ever since you’ve been in office.  Sir.

Trump:  Oh.  Damn right!  The only other president that even sorta comes close to my popularity is Abraham Lincoln.  He was a Republican, you know?  People say to me all the time, “I didn’t know Lincoln was a Republican.”  And I tell ‘em –

Toady #2:  Mr. President, our focus today is on your Presidential Library, sir.

(long pause)

Trump:  My what?1200px-Seal_of_the_US_Presidential_Libraries.svg

Toady #2:  Your Presidential Library, sir.

Trump:  Library?  What’s a library?

(long pause)

Toady #1:  A library, sir, is generally defined as a building containing collections of books, important papers and other materials for people to read, borrow, or refer to.

Trump:  So?  I don’t waste my time reading, what’s that got to do with me?

Toady #3:  Sir, it’s become a tradition since Hoover –Hoover_01 cropped

Trump:  Hoover, yeah, the vacuum cleaner guy.  He made a lot of money on those things.

(long pause)

Toady #2:  No, sir.  I’m referring to Herbert Hoover.  He was the 31st president, from 1929 to1933, sir.

Trump:  The vacuum guy became president?  He musta had the cleanest White House ever!

Toady #1:  Mr. President, beginning with Herbert Hoover, every president has a Presidential Library.  There are 14 of them and – wait, let me open the PowerPoint I brought.  Now – here’s a list of the 14 Presidential Libraries:

List cropped

Trump:  Obama’s on that list?  I don’t wanna be on no stinkin’ list that Obama’s on!  He wasn’t even born in this country!

Toady #1:  Look, sir, here’s the George W. Bush Presidential Library…

George W. Bush smaller

Trump:  Bush?  Lotta good “bush” jokes back then.  Ya know what I mean?  Told a few myself!  Did you hear the one about –

Toady #1:  And here’s his father’s library…

george h.w. buh smaller

Toady #1:  And Bill Clinton’s…

Clinton-library-large

Trump:  Clinton!  He’s a Democrat!  I don’t wanna be on no stinking list with those Do-Nothing Democrats!

(long pause)

Toady #3:  There are Presidential Libraries for both Republicans and Democrats, sir.

Trump:  Waste of money.  Complete waste of money.  Probably the biggest waste of money in the history of our country.

Toady #2:  On the contrary, sir, Presidential Libraries are very popular – hundreds of thousands of people visit them.  Look at the attendance at Bush’s library…

Graph cropped

Trump:  Whoa!  Look at that line!  It goes way up!

Toady #1:  Yes, sir!trump money

Trump:  Just think of all the money they’re making!  Mine will be the most popular watch-a-callit of all of them, and I’ll make some serious money!

Toady #2:  Actually, sir, the money raised goes into supporting the libraries and –

Trump:  I gotta have me one of those.  What’s it called again?

Toady #3:  A Presidential Library, sir.

Trump:  Yeah.  Yeah, I like it!  The Donald J. Trump Presidential Library.  I can see it now!

(Yes.  And so can we:)

Library with Vultures cropped fixed

 

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