This interesting – but unsurprising – story appeared last week.
Trump had been texting about the all-important Senate race in Georgia, with pleas like “We MUST defend Georgia from the Dems!” and, “I need YOU to secure a WIN in Georgia” and, “Help us WIN both Senate races in Georgia & STOP Socialist Dems.”
But, say many articles,
“There’s just one hitch: Trump’s new political machine is pocketing most of the dough – and the campaigns of the Georgia senators competing in the January 5 races aren’t getting a cent.”
The donors should save their money for two reasons. First and obvious – none of their money is going to help the Republican Georgia Senate candidates.
And second: Trump won’t need that money – not where he’s going.
There’s a centuries-old tradition of despots either going into – or being sent into – exile.
Despot: a ruler or other person who holds absolute power, typically one who exercises it in a cruel or oppressive way.
One despot that comes to mind is Napoleon (1769-1821). Following the French Revolution, Napoleon reigned as Emperor of the French from 1804 until 1814, and then again briefly in 1815. Defeated in war by Great Britain and its allies, in 1815 Napoleon was exiled to the island of St. Helena, 1,100 miles from the west coast of Africa. Napoleon had escaped from an earlier exile, on the island of Elba, and this time the Brits were making sure there would be no more escapes.
St. Helena was a dismal place – “wet, windswept and unhealthy.” The house where he resided infested with rats, and his attendants complained of “damp floors and poor provisions.” Aside from his attendants, Napoleon’s companions were hostile British soldiers, who we can assume were unhappy with their assignment. His years of glory, power and wealth a distant memory, Napoleon died in exile at age 51.
A 20th-century despot example was Kaiser Wilhelm II (1859-1941), Emperor of Germany. Believed by many to be the primary cause of the Great War – later known as World War I (1914-1918), Wilhelm was looking at defeat and disgrace in November 1918. He boarded a train and went into exile in the Netherlands, where he died at age 82.
Wilhelm’s life-in-exile conditions were better than Napoleon’s – he had the wherewithal to live the life of a country gentleman, tended to by 40-some servants. He exhibited absolutely no remorse for the war or his role in events leading up to it, and blamed everybody indiscriminately for his plight, railing against the Jesuits, Freemasons, Socialists, Jews and anyone else he could think of.
An exiled despot of more recent vintage was Ferdinand Marcos (1917-1989), president of the Philippines from 1965-1986. When things fell apart for Marcos, he – with the help of the U.S. government – fled to Hawaii by way of Guam. As the story goes, he brought with him,
“…twenty-two crates of cash valued at $717 million, 300 crates of assorted jewelry with undetermined value, $4 million worth of unset precious gems contained in Pampers diaper boxes, 65 Seiko and Cartier watches, a 12-by-4-foot box crammed full of real pearls, a three-foot solid gold statue covered in diamonds and other precious stones, $200,000 in gold bullion and nearly $1 million in Philippine pesos, and deposit slips to banks in the U.S., Switzerland, and the Cayman Islands worth $124 million, which he all amassed during his dictatorship.”
We can assume Ferdinand’s exile was cushier than Napoleon’s or Wilhelm’s, up till his death in Honolulu at age 72.
Which brings us to a despot wannabe:
It was Trump himself who suggested exile, back in mid-October:
“You know what? Running against the worst candidate in the history of American politics puts pressure on me. Could you imagine if I lose? My whole life – what am I going to do? I’m going to say, I lost to the worst candidate in the history of politics! I’m not going to feel so good. Maybe I’ll have to leave the country, I don’t know.”
Many of the stories suggested Trump was joking, but they forgot something important:
Trump doesn’t joke.
Trump lacks both the sense of humor, and the intelligence, to make jokes.
And Trump has a number of very good reasons to consider leaving the country.
For starters, instead of being named Time magazine’s 2020 Person of the Year, that went to his competition:
And so did the 2020 election:
Here’s another reason:
Did I say “another” as in singular?
Lists a veritable tsunami of possible legal trouble for Trump, including:
- Attorney general investigates Trump Organization projects
- Manhattan district attorney’s criminal probe
- Unknown Southern District of New York investigation
- Southern District of New York investigation into Trump inaugural committee
- Southern District of New York investigation into Giuliani associates
- State tax department looks into fraud allegations
- Manhattan district attorney indicts Paul Manafort
- Attorney general lawsuit against the Trump Foundation
- Tax department investigation into the Trump Foundation
And while Trump may pardon himself until he’s blue in the face (instead of orange), that would only apply to federal, not state, charges.
Then there are the two women who allege Trump sexually assaulted them and are suing him. One is E. Jean Carroll:
The other is Summer Zervos:
The Zervos story says,
“…Trump continues to quietly battle two women in court who allege he sexually assaulted them, fighting their efforts to obtain testimony and documents that could shed light on their accusations. The women, Summer Zervos and E. Jean Carroll, are among more than a dozen women who have accused Trump of unwanted physical contact in the years before he was elected.”
These ladies, and their lawyers, are not going away.
Speaking of ladies and lawyers, Trump’s niece Mary is also suing him:
Then there are those NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard) neighbors in Florida who appear to have a pretty good case that Trump legally cannot live at his Mar-A-Lago private club:
What a bunch of cranky old poops! Just because Trump signed a legal agreement in 1993 stating he’d never use Mar-A-Lago as a residence, since when has signing a legal agreement ever meant anything to him?
And there’s this problem, to the tune of $340 million:
According to the article, Deutsche officials…
“…hope ending their relationship with Trump could help reduce some of the scrutiny facing the bank – which could intensify if Democrats sweep the election and move forward on probes stalled under the Trump presidency.”
Banks don’t like scrutiny + Joe Biden won = trouble for Trump.
So it won’t be enough for Trump to just “leave the country” and go into exile like Napoleon and Wilhelm and Ferdinand.
I suppose Trump could flee to a country that doesn’t have an extradition treaty with the U.S., and there are more than 70 of them.
One of those is Russia, and apparently some there are clamoring for Trump’s company:
Russian state media – which “affectionately refers to Donald Trump as ‘our Donald,’ ‘Trumpusha’ and ‘Comrade Trump’” – are worried about Trump’s future.
And not just Russian state media – the Russian Defense Ministry’s Public Council, Igor Korotchenko, spoke out in Trump’s defense, saying,
“Russia can offer political asylum to the persecuted former president of the United States, Donald Trump. But let him not simply arrive to Rostov or elsewhere, but also transfer his capital here and finally build his famous Trump City somewhere in our New Moscow.”
I’m guessing ole Igor walked that back real quick when this happened on December 15:
If not Russia, then how about we stipulate that Trump can go to any one of those other 70+ countries with no extradition treaties…
If he can point to it on a map.
Burkina Faso? Oman? Comoros?
Trump would be 0 for 3 with that.
But that’s OK, because I have the perfect place for Trump:
How “remote” is Bouvet Island?
It’s located 1,404 miles away from the nearest humans, halfway between South Africa and Antarctica:
Described in the article as “an ice-covered, glacier-surrounded, inhospitable lump,” the good news for Trump:
There’s no Loser Of The Year or New York District Attorney’s office or angry women with lawyers or NIMBYs or Deutsche Bank.
The good news for us:
There’s no Internet, no Wi-Fi, no Twitter, no texting.
Imagine a world with no Trump tweets.
I’ll help you pack your bags, Donald!
Just pick yourself a nice, cozy spot on Bouvet Island:
Get acquainted with your neighbors:
Dress warmly, enjoy your surroundings…
It’s your choice, Donald.