Meet Your Next Airplane Seatmate. Think I’m Kidding?

I sincerely want to be a kind person.

I sincerely want to be kind, especially to those less fortunate than I.

I sincerely want airlines to stop allowing bogus “support” animals on airplanes.

When I say “support” animals I’m not referring to the professionally trained, well-behaved animals we see accompanying people with disabilities.  These are properly referred to as “service animals” and they, indeed, perform valuable services.

badger
NOT a service animal.

Instead I’m referring to the Noah’s Ark of  “support” animals that people claim are absolutely necessary to their well-being when traveling on airplanes.

The problem can be summed up in the old adage, “Give him an inch, and he’ll take a mile.”  That’s us humans – give somebody an OK for her “support” duck and somebody else will insist their peacock is a “support” animal.

Think I’m kidding?  Meet Daniel Terducken Stinkerbutt, a “support” animal whose owner dresses him in “little red shoes and a Captain America Diaper,” according to a report from ABC News.

support duck_01

Last year Daniel and his owner made not one, but two flights together, and his “hugs and kisses” helped her make it through the flights.

Seriously?  Hugs and kisses from a duck?

But that bird got on an airplane, so why not Dexter the peacock?

peacock_01.jpg

Alas, his owner tried – and was denied – their flight in January at Newark Airport.  Possibly because Dexter tried to kiss and hug the airline employee.

Lest you think “support” animals are limited to feathered friends, here’s a list of animals just recently banned by various U.S. carriers:

snake_01
Banned?  But he’s a support rattlesnake!
  • Hedgehogs
  • Ferrets
  • Insects
  • Goats
  • Rodents
  • Snakes
  • Spiders
  • Amphibians
  • Sugar Gliders
  • Non-household birds*
  • Any animal that is dirty/has an odor**

*I don’t know if Stinkerbutt fits into this category.
**Apparently passengers who are dirty/have an odor are still welcome.

One airline has also banned animals with tusks, horns or hooves, except for trained miniature horses acting as service animals.

horse largest.jpgYes, apparently miniature horses can be trained as service animals.  Notice in this photo how the owner is in the aisle seat, and the horse’s hindquarters are tucked up against the legs of the passenger next to him?  That owner is no dummy.

Wouldn’t you love being that other passenger?  Can’t you just see the scene at the airport check-in counter?

Passenger:  Whew!  I was afraid I was going to miss my flight – is my seat still available?

Airline Agent:  Sure is, and you’ll be sharing your leg room with a horse’s ass!

In spite of the “banned” list above, airlines are still faced with dilemma of banning rat with badgepassengers with their “support” cats, pigs, pocket pooches, kangaroos, marmosets, guinea pigs, hamsters, rabbits, rats, badgers, bearded dragons and worse – skunks and elephants so far are not banned.

Banning animals = losing all that passenger revenue.

Or the airlines can cave in, keep collecting that revenue, and continue allowing passengers to go whole hog and bring on board any animal they want, regardless of the inconvenience –  urination, defecation – and danger of aggressive behavior toward other passengers.

Thinking I’m kidding about “whole hog”?

pig_04 cropped.jpg pig

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