For a number of years, on its last page Time magazine has published a 10 Questions interview with someone they consider, well…Time-worthy.
I usually read this article, and one October day five years ago I reached that last page and began reading.
At first, I didn’t recognize the person being interviewed. But I was barely into the article and already thinking, “Who is this twit?” When I finally realized who I was reading about, I was inspired to write a response.
The person featured in the interview was author Elizabeth Gilbert, who in 2014 was promoting her new book, The Signature of All Things. Ms. Gilbert has a new book due out in June, so it seemed like an appropriate time to revisit my response:
Dear Ms. Gilbert:
| I read your 10 Questions interview in the October 14 issue of Time. |  |
| I also heard your interview on NPR, so I’m inferring that you’re doing an author’s tour, which I understand has become an event… |  |
| As rare as a Loch Ness Monster sighting. |  |
| Of course, your status as an author of – well, status – is without doubt. |  |
| According to Wikipedia, your book Eat, Pray, Love spent something like seven million weeks on the best seller list… |  |
| And was made into a movie starring Julia Roberts.
Talk about status! |
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| And you were included on a Time 100 list the of most influential people in the world – |  |
| not just the United States, mind you, but the world – |  |
| along with other movers and shakers like Sarah Palin, |  |
| Lady Gaga, |  |
| and Larry the Cable Guy. |  |
| With regards to the Time article, I couldn’t help but notice – and can’t help but comment on – the following: | |
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Your statement: “I was late [to this interview] because my hairdresser wanted to tell me about…”
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| Ms. Gilbert, regardless of your status, it is not OK to be late – to an interview, a lunch date… |  |
| A sighting of the Loch Ness Monster. | |
| It’s a tacky power play sending the message that you’re more important than the person you kept waiting. |  |
| And you kept Time magazine waiting. Who’s next? |  |
| The Pope? |  |
| Your sweater: It looks like you were on your way out the door and thought, “Gosh, I need a sweater. |  |
| “Oh, look, here’s the pile of stuff I’ve been meaning to give to Goodwill for the past eight months. I’ll just dig down here and… |  |
| “Oh, that beige thing! Perfect!” | |
| Your frock: |  |
| Wow, is that an actual A-Line from the late 60s? Judging by its lack of style and shape I’m guessing…Yes! |  |
| Your knees: Are ugly. We women reach a point when it may be prudent not to reveal certain body parts except in the privacy of our bedroom or gynecologist’s office. Knees are on that list… |  |
| Along with the stuff that accumulates on the underside of our upper arms and keeps moving even when we’re standing still. |  |
| You’re 44 and your knees show it. Stop showing them. | |
| Your ankle boots: Are you serious? Ankle boots with a dress? |  |
| If you’re 24: Hot. |  |
| If you’re 44: Not. |  |
| Your new book: The Signature of All Things. |  |
| I haven’t read it and I’m doubtful I’ll tackle a 512-page tome about… moss. |  |
| And speaking of moss, have you read Kate’s book? |  |
| Now, she’s got some nice knees! |  |
| Update:
Ms. Gilbert, your new book, City of Girls, comes out in June. |
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| And I can’t wait to see your interviews! |  |
I Hate Houseguests 